A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime.

H__2924-1024x683“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you’ll know exactly what to do.” ~Michelle Ventor

Easier said, Michelle. Am I the only one who struggles with “figuring out” what a person’s significance is in my life?

Although, I know who my lifers are; that’s easy to decipher. They are the ones who never go anywhere. Even if we don’t speak for years, when we do, it’s like one of us just returned from the bathroom and our teacups are still steaming. Those are my keepers. 

It’s these reason and season people who throw me for a loop.

I’ve let go of some people I maybe should have held on to, and I’ve held on to people I should have let go of long before I actually did.

A friend once reminded me: the strength of a relationship is determined by the person who loves the least. That’s the code cracker, right there. It applies to the topography of all relationships: romantic, platonic and familial.

Maybe that’s what Michelle meant in her cryptic last line: when you figure out if the relationship is balanced with equal love and emotional reciprocity or not, you’ll know what to do.

If you both love the most, keep them forever, or for as long as that love doesn’t tip the scales one way or another. The moment it does, let them go, because, once the leaves have fallen, there’s no hanging them back up.

This is where I get stuck, sometimes. I don’t want the leaves to fall—they were so beautiful up there. Maybe if I wrap them around that branch, they’ll magically breathe themselves back to green.

No. It’s over.

I’m doing work that the tree has no interest in assisting with, and neither does the universe. They wait patiently for me to climb down and walk away to the next season. In my heart, I carry with me the reason, the purpose of relationships in my life—to love with all my might and to let go of that love when I’m no longer being loved back.

Jennifer

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