Category: Self-development

The Ideal Mom, The Ideal Worker, and Our Dehumanizing Expectations of Women

The Ideal Mom, The Ideal Worker, and Our Dehumanizing Expectations of Women

“There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life,” wrote Alain de Botton. But still, as women, we feel pressured to “go for it”; to “lean in”; to “have it all”. The average American mother returns to work only weeks after giving birth. About half of new mothers take five weeks or more […]

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3 steps to form a new habit

3 Steps to Form a New Habit

Despite how hard won some personal habits feel, it can be surprisingly easy to acquire new ones. First, let’s define “habit” as a behavior pattern established by frequent repetition that shows up regularly and, often, involuntarily.  We all have them, the mindless glance at a smartphone when it alerts, or turning on TV right after supper, habits we’d like to change. Buy an “Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt!    So, let’s dissect a habit. There are 3 components:  1-a “cue”, or trigger that tells your brain to go into autopilot and engage the behavior; 2– a “routine” which is the behavior

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Do noothing today. Heres why

Do Nothing Today, Here’s Why

Most of us live incredibly cluttered and fast-paced lives, driven by the need to be productive, accomplished, and forever moving forward. What would happen, though, if we decided to take a time-out? Many of us get anxiety just thinking about it – the prospect of falling behind, slowing down, or even failing. However, taking a break might, in actuality, help you to come back stronger and sharper than ever before. Alan Cohen once said “There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” Most of us can accept the wisdom in these words,

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Five selfish reasons to do good

Five Selfish Reasons to Do Good

Have you ever noticed that people who engage in volunteer work seem super happy – maybe even obnoxiously so? Well, according to science, they actually do have plenty to smile about. Doing a good deed helps not only the beneficiary, but the humanitarian as well. Here are five reasons why engaging in service work can benefit us all: Buy an “Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt! Altruism Boosts Your Mental Health BMC Public Health analyzed a myriad of studies and found that volunteering mitigated depression, increased life satisfaction, and had an overall positive effect on the study participants’ sense of well-being. This

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6 Ways Heartache Pain and Loss Can Make You Better

6 Ways Heartache Pain and Loss Can Make You Better

Not long ago my Mom passed.  Unexpectedly, 2 short weeks later,  my younger brother joined her.  Bereft,  I was suddenly adrift, my moorings gone.  How to belong in a world with mother and brother sized holes?  Sleepless, I walked, and walked. Or, crashed for 8, 10, 12 hours. Grief morphed into guilt, anger, cynicism, bewilderment. Socially inept, I lay low.  In my brother’s flannel shirt, I curled under Mom’s soft brown throw and convulsed with tears.  Each salt trail marked a sacred path, a new road named “Goodbye.” Buy an “Intelligence is sexy” t-shirt! I moved furniture, rearranged with neurotic

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