Easy Love
“Everyone says this is supposed to be hard, but it just keeps getting easier,” she said to him as they recited their vows to one another.
It ‘should’ be getting harder–they have a child together now, they both work and have full lives, but somehow, it’s getting easier.
That’s what happens when love is true.
I’d like to call bullshit right now on this whole woo-woo philosophy of soul mates and twin flames:
“We’re here to be each other’s mirror. That person’s supposed to bring up all of my shit so I can deal with it. We are here to teach each other and work to create the relationship we want, even if that means we battle and ride the roller coaster day in and day out.”
Bologna!
We are meant to be comrades, not opponents.
Love is supposed to be easy. Of course, effort is necessary, but the struggle, the fight, the volatility, the back and forth–that’s not love, that’s fear.
I think love relationships were put on this earth as respite from the daily struggle.
That’s what I’m waiting for.
I’ve been single for about a year and a half. It’s like being at a party and sitting in the chair by the wall, observing everyone else mingle.
I have a perspective that I didn’t before.
When I was in relationship, I thought it was supposed to be arduous. I thought it was normal to be exhausted all of the time–to have fiery passion in and out of the bedroom.
That’s not sustainable.
I’ve become privy to the innards of others’ relationships. They are miserable in their love, yet they don’t leave.
Why?
It’s the human condition–we get comfortable in discomfort. We hold out in hopes it will change, because deep down and on the surface, idealism has become our religion.
But–it won’t change. Period. Belief and reality don’t always align.
People are who they are. They show us immediately who they are, we just choose to ignore it, because, we all desperately want to love and be loved.
If your relationship has always been rocky, it will continue to be rocky. If it’s volatile, it will continue to be volatile. If you lack chemistry, you will always lack chemistry.
Remember what the bride said: “It just keeps getting easier.”
It started out easy and it keeps getting easier– that’s love, everything else is fear in disguise.
There’s always a choice: fear or love.
Do you choose the easy way? Or, do you choose the hard way?
I know which way I’m going. How about you?
