How to Spot a “Secret D*ck” Before It’s Too Late

On the first of Sunday night’s two finale episodes of Girls, Hannah finally and completely dumped her atrocious boyfriend, Fran. In doing so, she leveled a spot-on, revelatory accusation at her ex: he is a “secret d*ck.” This fleeting TV moment summed up a heretofore unnamed type of dude we have all encountered and I, for one, could not be more grateful. Because we’ve all known, or worked with, or (unfortunately) dated a secret d*ck, and it’s about time we had a name for him.

The secret d*ck is difficult to spot in the wild, hence the “secret” part of the equation. On the surface, the secret d*ck often appears to be the perfect guy. This is a trick. He may have an upstanding, even altruistic job. (Fran is a schoolteacher.) He may act and look like a perfect gentlemen – even to the point of being a total square. (Please see: Fran’s preference for short-sleeved, button-up shirts.)

But underneath the nice-guy facade, the secret d*ck is condescending, judgemental, obsessed with how people view him, and prone to fits of rage when things don’t go his way. Did anyone else notice how Fran seemed to see and discuss Hannah’s (admittedly bad) behavior only in terms of the way it made him look? It’s a classic secret d*ck move, for the secret d*ck is the kind of guy who might eventually accuse you of “damaging his brand.”

This is not to excuse any of Hannah’s own poor judgment. After all, we wouldn’t ever recommend committing to a Summer-long road trip in an RV with a person who you suspect might actually be a secret d*ck, as she did. But it is to congratulate Lena Dunham and Girls for finally giving name to this very real phenomenon.

This post first appeared on popsugar.com