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18 Happily Married Women Dish On How To Fight Successfully With Your Man

arguing / Emotions / Marriage / Relationship Advice / Understanding Men

18 Happily Married Women Dish On How To Fight Successfully With Your Man

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and I love him dearly. He is the brightest treasure in my life, a reason I get excited to wake up, the peanut butter to my jelly. And yet, we fight… plenty. I mean, sometimes I get really, really mad at this man I love […]

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The Real Reason Sex Gets Boring and Stale Over Time… And What To Do About It

Books / Marriage / Relationship Advice / Sex

The Real Reason Sex Gets Boring and Stale Over Time… And What To Do About It

Today I want to answer an important question and talk about SEX. Here’s a question from Nora … Hi Mirabelle, I have a question about sex. I love sex. I LOVE it. But recently it’s gotten boring … and I miss the craziness and the passion and the feeling of being wanted. I miss it a […]

The post The Real Reason Sex Gets Boring and Stale Over Time… And What To Do About It appeared first on Attract The One.

Good Girls Grow Up To Be Bad Ass Women.

bad ass women / journey of the self / relationship with the self / Relationships / self love

Good Girls Grow Up To Be Bad Ass Women.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/good-girls-grow-up-to-be-badss-women/ “When I’m good, I’m very good—but when I’m bad, I’m better.” ~ Mae West . Good girls are sugar and spice and everything nice—but bad-ass women are moonshine and divine and just plain fine. As little girls, we grew up on our mother’s hip learning the ways of womanhood from the sisters who began […]

8 Simple Things Guaranteed to Ease The Pain Of Your Divorce or Bad Breakup

Breakups / Relationship Advice

8 Simple Things Guaranteed to Ease The Pain Of Your Divorce or Bad Breakup

Are you going through a devastating divorce or breakup? The kind that makes you feel like a million broken pieces?  The kind that leaves you feeling like you’re lost at sea yearning to feel land underneath your feet again? I’ve been there, and my guess is that while you are turning to your friends or mentors […]

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How Do We Explain The Absence Of A Parent To A Child?

absent parent / Children / families / Love / Parenting / Relationships

How Do We Explain The Absence Of A Parent To A Child?

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/how-do-we-explain-the-absence-of-a-parent-to-a-child/ “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.” ~ B. Johnson . The worst type of absence may not even be one created by death—but the one created by choice. For many parents, the idea of not being the best possible parent to their child is inconceivable, […]

ReMoved: This Will Change How You View Life.

broken home / child abuse / foster care / Parenting / ReMoved / unhealthy relationships / Video

ReMoved: This Will Change How You View Life. {Video}

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/removed-this-video-will-change-how-you-view-life-forever/ She bled from scars no one saw and wondered if the sun would ever shine down upon her again. She knew that life wasn’t supposed to be like this, but she had no control over the things that happened to her. All she knew was that she was waiting for someone to care—for someone […]

He’s Everything I Said I Wanted-Except He’s Not You.

endings and beginnings / he's just not you / Love / Moving On / Relationships

He’s Everything I Said I Wanted-Except He’s Not You.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/03/hes-everything-i-said-i-wanted-except-hes-not-you/ “If you can’t get someone out of your head, maybe they are supposed to be there.” ~ Unknown I’ve found a man who happily fulfills every single requirement on my precious list—except for just one thing—he’s not you. When this man first came into my life, I was blissfully excited because I had hoped […]

But What If I End Up Alone?

being single / breaking up / fear and love / Love / Relationships / self love

But What If I End Up Alone?

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/04/but-what-if-i-end-up-alone/ “Learning to be alone, and enjoying it, is the most empowering gift you can give yourself.” ~ S. Aitchison . Despite the smile upon my radiant face, inside a voice whispered—what if I am alone forever? It’s a voice that I have been at war with for years. It’s a voice that kept me in […]

7 Little Things That Will Keep Your Relationship Afloat While You Battle Busy

Love / Marriage / Relationship Advice

7 Little Things That Will Keep Your Relationship Afloat While You Battle Busy

I decided a few months ago that even though I’ve been ultra busy— that it was time to get a puppy. Clearly, choosing now to housebreak a puppy— with the work that comes with doing that properly was the calm, centered, rational choice. Now I realize that some of you have kids (maybe more than a few), […]

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Self-Improvement / Spirituality / True self

Take this Simple Step to Know your True Self

The tiny seed of Truth is found in every human being. Similarly to the seed of a tree, the tiny seed contains great potentials. If the spiritual Seeker protects and nourishes that tiny seed, it will grow into the mighty tree of Truth. But it can only protect and nourish it, if it’s aware of its existence. How can the spiritual seeker realize this and how can the Truth be revealed?

 The world of the forms and shapes
A lot of people are unaware of that, and they try to find the Truth outside themselves, in the world of forms and shapes, wishing to make forms eternal. So the modest little seed in us stays dormant, waiting for better times.The better times come when the spiritual Seeker realizes that all the external shapes and forms are transitory, so they turn their attention from the world of shapes to the internal world. Under the effect of turning inward, the small seed begins to sprout, and it starts slowly growing. I revitalizes the spiritual Seeker, and a deep desire arises in them to see the flower that the small seed may become.

Then one of the spiritual Seekers may try to use the little sprout to decorate his/her ego with it. Another one says: “Look, there is a lily of the valley growing in me! But I want to be a rose!” In their effort to become a rose, their attention turns back towards the shapes and forms, so the gentle sprout dries and the seed falls asleep again.

That is how the spiritual Seeker has been playing games in the world of forms and shapes for a long time. It is true that the game is so beautiful and relaxing. The spiritual Seeker will soon have favourite games and toys, as well as favourite playing partners. The more beautiful and better toys the spiritual Seeker invents, the more powerfully they will insist on them.If they do not cling to the toys, they will cling to their partners in the game or to the game itself. By playing these games, the spiritual Seeker will be trapped in the world of shapes and forms, and the modest little seed will sleep forever. When the spiritual Seeker gets tired of playing, and during a brief rest turns inward, there is still the danger of treading on the gentle sprout during the next game.

Some spiritual Seekers gather extra strenght during the time they spend in the internal silence, and with renewed force they abandon themselves into the busy world of the forms and shapes. In the internal silencethey find a means that extends their power and efficiency in the world. Naturally, it means that they will be lost even deeper among the forms, which sooner or later brings them new suffering, perhaps even worse than the previous one. Then they turn inward one more time, and the whole cycle starts all over again. 

This process may be repeated infinitely in the life of the spiritual Seeker. Still, the process does have its benefit, as the Ego may become tired of it after a while, give up the effort and fall into the silence. Only the deep-rooted desire for the flower remains in the soul of the wanderer. Then they realize that the real flower bed for the little seed is the silence, the non-action, staying in the alert Consciousness, free of concepts. In this internal silence the small seed develops into a beautiful flower. The world of forms and shapes loses its significance for the spiritual Seeker. Only the Existence remains as the only reality.

Turning inward

The spiritual Seeker’s turning inward is therefore a precondition for the germination of the small seed. Turning inward may be interpreted differently by different people, according to their own conceptual knowledge. In general, turning inward means that the person’s attention is diverted from the world of forms and shapes towards their internal world.

In this interpretation, there is a subject who is watching and an internal object (breathing, thought, concept, a conceptual image of God etc.) that is being watched. Here the intensification of the attention is equal to the increase of the duration of the attention. The little seed begins to sprout in the internal silence.

The next level of turning inward is when the attention is not focused on inner objects, but on the Consciousness sensing it. E. g. when somebody is watching his/her own respiration, after a while their attention will be shifted from the act of breathing (which is something outside the subject) to the subject itself (the Consciousness watching the respiration). One is only able to perform it lastingly when their concentration ability is sufficiently strong, trained by watching internal objects.

In this interpretation, intensifying attention means that the spiritual Seeker submerges into this Consciousness to an increasing extent. After a while they realize that the Consciousness they focus their attention on is not yet the Self (at that point a lot of the spiritual Seekers lose their way), but the Ego (the I-concept, body awareness). The little seed is now growing and becoming more powerful.

As the power of attention increases, the spiritual Seeker begins to seek where the Ego is emerging from, and what nourishes that Consciousness. That is how they finally return to the source of the Ego, which is the Self(the witnessing Presence, the absolute Consciousness). Now the little seed is in full bloom, presenting the spiritual Seeker with its wonderful scent, which is the pleasure of Existence itself.

The point is being a witness

When the seed is in bloom, the roles of the personality of the spiritual Seeker, their reactions, the work of the mind continue to exist, but the spiritual Seeker no longer intends to change them. The spiritual Seeker does not want to be performing better or to obtain a better role. 

They plainly watch their own reactions. They no longer identify with the roles and allow the quality of their reactions to determine their self-image. They learn to laugh at themselves. As Witnesses they see and recognize that the Ego is nothing but a bundle of conditioned patterns of behaviour and emotion, and as such, it does not have any particular reality.

Intensity is Required for Awakening.

The spiritual Seeker realizes that for awakening, that is, for the sprouting and blooming of the little seed requires intensity in the Now.What is that intensity provided by? The intensity is provided by the recognition that the spiritual Seeker does not identify with the body-mind complex, but with the conscious Presence of true life. Once this recognition permeates the entire self of the spiritual Seeker, then the intensity necessary for Awakening is ready and provided.


(C) Frank M. Wanderer, 2013-2016
You can republish our articles for free, but please include the author’s name and a link to our homepage (www.frankmwanderer.com)


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13 Signs Your Relationship Is In Serious Trouble And What To Do About It

bad marriage / Breakups / Relationship Advice

13 Signs Your Relationship Is In Serious Trouble And What To Do About It

You know that sagging, awful feeling in the pit of your gut that things “aren’t quite right” with your relationship? That’s what I want to talk about today. Here are 13 signs that your relationship is in serious trouble and needs repair before it’s too late: 1. Communication Has Fallen Off Or your communication been […]

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